Too Unsettling
This baggage claim is located smack dab in the middle of nowhere, and even if you were to pay me, there is no way in hell that I would ever lay my trust in it! Even if you were to pay me, there is no way I would ever place my faith in it! Your suitcase was found in a parking lot, which undoubtedly gives rise to many curious questions on your side.
It would appear that something really special and remarkable, which none of us have ever experienced before, is being prepared for us to enjoy right now in this location, and the preparations are presently being made. We will be able to take part in whatever it is as soon as it is finished.