It will never leave
We guess that these days you can change almost anything about yourself and no one will try to stop you. But something that you can not get rid of is the trauma that you will experience throughout your life. It doesn’t have to be because you were the eldest, it could be anything.
Trauma is a tricky thing to deal with because it comes in many shapes and sizes and is hard to overcome. It takes time and patience, so just find the tools to work through it and stay motivated. After all, we are all cheering for you to grow stronger as a person.