Bring Your Jeans to Work
Let’s take a look at all of the goodies the OP received from their kindhearted, thoughtful employer. A green pen, two stacks of post-it notes, and two pieces of chocolate. If you look up the phrase “worse Christmas bonus of all time” in the dictionary, it would include this picture.

But wait! It gets much worse! The OP also received a coupon that allowed them to wear jeans during a non-jeans workday, which was valid for the entire month of January the following year. Gee, boss, you shouldn’t have! How ever will you reach your target profit and satisfy your shareholders if you hand out coupons left and right?