Shrekophobe
This has to be one of the strangest exchanges we’ve seen, not just because the dude was a total creep, but also because the girl came up with the best answer to shoo the man away. But first, let’s address the elephant in the room. This guy is actually the husband of the woman who hires the OP to babysit.
In response, she claimed she was Shrek, a.k.a, the Green Legend. She towers over our pervy hero by more than a foot, and she loves consuming eyeballs. That got the guy to ghost her real quick. Outstanding move, Green Legend.